A story emerges from the picture on this track, of the pub getting demolished near the flats I spent the first 18 years of my life.

Nearly the entire area got pulled down eventually and is hardly recognisable now. The last time I went that way 10 years ago, I couldn't work out which was the bus stop that used to be right outside my place.

To be honest it needed it as it was swamped with drugs, deaths and dickheads. 'Manly men' with status dogs that they treated like shit and turned them into savages that terrorised me and a bunch of other local kids, people doing heroin on the streets, and the local gluesniffer Bod who was something of a celebrity! I think that says a lot.

School days. The happiest days of your life. Fuck that. All it did was set me up for a life riddled with depression, anxiety and a general dim view of humanity...

...BUT (let's try for positives eh) I had my little alarm clock radio with the static noise in between channels (mentioned during the Hatiyar split release, for those following the story), the John Peel and Rock shows, a 6 foot snooker/pool table, a ZX Spectrum 48k with the rubber keys (for those also following the story, further back, see OWL27 for that!), and reclused as much as I could into my own world of relative safety.

At least it brought me up to (try) not to be (too much) of a dickhead, and got me into 'the alternative', music and general life, so, that's something. It guided me away from whatever the 'norms of society' are, because, absolutely fuck that bullshit as well.

Whilst there are times that are incredibly difficult in the brain especially, nowadays (the last couple of weeks for example have been fucking atrocious in this sense), and will be forever, because that's how I am wired, at least I don't have to go back to those times.

I felt no conscious connection to anything, like I was switched off, and I would spend months with the black cloud hanging right over my head. At least now I can see that cloud approaching and try do something to stop or avoid the rain it brings.

Well, that was cheery. Funny what one image can stir up in the mind. Thank you if you had a read 🙏