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#106 - Withdrawal

by The Owl

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1.
I repeatedly told myself I was nothing without the warmth...
2.
Every time I felt like I was free, it overwhelmed me with its power...
3.
Woeverdose 09:55
When life and my own brain tried to sabotage everything, I always took the easy escape route...
4.
I've experienced my own death so many times. It's both exhilarating and terrifying...
5.
...but just because the thought of it is there forever, doesn't mean you ever need to focus on it again. I am learning to live, co-exist with the pain of depression, anxiety, low-everything, and removing something that eventually heightens those pains from my life was a massive step forward in being able to deal with it all. My music is a big part of helping me get through this, helping me understand the world around, helping me be at peace with myself and my mind, and these extra words that I tag along to the records and to each track really aid me in figuring out how to keep moving forward and regain strength whenever it takes a beating. Thank you to anyone who reads any of this, and if you are feeling stuck, in life, in addiction, in desperation, always say something, to someone, and then you have a chance of figuring it out, beating the demons, appreciating the existence that we have, even if it feels like something you don't want. It's always better to keep going. Trust me.

about

The heavy-going theme of the album is substance addiction, the enjoyment that inevitably leads to the downfall of a person that it will bring, and how you recover from it and without it on the other side.

'Withdrawal' refers to getting sober; about withdrawal from existing in circles and repeating cycles that are damaging and keep pulling you back in when you know you should be out; about withdrawal from 'normal' society to focus on yourself in hope of strengthening for the battle of feeling more at ease in your own body, mind, existence; to not feel you must rely on intoxicants to get through.

'Withdrawal' is suitably dark, tense, malevolent, spellbinding, mindbending and draining; but in the same breath, I hope it works for you the same as me, in that it purges all of those emotions and difficulties that contaminate your cortex, so what remains is something akin to the calm, contemplative, focused, softly breathing hum of the closing minute.

Thank you to all who take it all in, especially with trust in me, headphones, silence or meditation.

VIDEOS
'Blood': www.youtube.com/watch?v=M17dnqf8QGw
Album: www.youtube.com/watch?v=txY5JRVZuSI

Up to date Bandcamp codes here:
dlcm.app/the-owl/owl106-withdrawal

credits

released May 16, 2023

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I won't trigger the avalanches of stories but will give you the outline, in that I battled with alcoholism since being a teenager in the early 90s until getting and staying sober the first day of 2021. Every day is still difficult on some level, but cravings now dissipate quickly.

I've had some truly out of this universe epic times with drugs too, and then my intensely addictive personality led me deep into some really dark times with them. Throw stacks of major depression and anxiety into the mix and we've got a real volcano of justification for wanting to disappear into all the oblivions possible. I have things under control now, or at least manage to channel those addictions into more fulfilling, productive and creative outlets.

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Made June 24th 2022 to January 27th 2023, with just the basic theme of Woeverdose being from an Incandescence track around 2010. Three months of anxieties followed, leading to it remaining in a folder until the end of April, despite knowing it was complete. I managed to gather my confidence and sent it to Willard at Haunted Head.

All the pictures were taken pre-2020 in England before I moved away. The 'hope' and catharsis in this album is represented by the black and white track pictures encased in darkly colourful cover images.

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Big thank you to Willard for putting this on his page as well. I hope you will investigate, as there are plenty of friends and their strange / noisy / experimental / interesting releases to find (including a Morbid Beauty album), and tracks of both projects on the Body Envelope Violations compilation: hauntedheadrecs.bandcamp.com/track/the-owl-post-mutation-flashbacks
www.instagram.com/hauntedheadrecs

Please also take some time to look at the intensely brilliant art by Willard: www.instagram.com/willard_herman_art

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all rights reserved

tags

about

The Owl Orlová, Czechia

A/V experiments since first DIY tape in 1994

Many bands and projects until The Owl was born in 2018

The Owls were formed in December 2021.

Welcome to the rest of the journey.

Codes: dlcm.app/the-owl

Caffeine support: ko-fi.com/theowlripper

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